


Lost Love

by linj_ii



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:35:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29225580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linj_ii/pseuds/linj_ii
Summary: Yuta never wanted to live in Korea. His parents were the ones to send him there to work in their family business.Korea, it was also the place he met his love, Sicheng; who came to visit his aunt and uncle.They fell in love in that country. Spent years together there. They shared laughter, tears, pain, happiness, everything two people that loved each other should.The break up it him hard.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta
Kudos: 12





	Lost Love

**Author's Note:**

> This was a request. I hope you enjoy reading!

Yuta remembered the day he met Sicheng like it was yesterday. A bunch of confusing circumstances led them both there, in an aisle with spices in a convenience store. Sicheng ended up there because his aunt married a Korean man. He came to visit once, promising to cook them Chinese food. He liked visiting Korea.

Yuta never liked Korea, but the shy smile Sicheng sent his way that night made the clouds disappear from his mind, a light feeling filling up his chest. He ended up in the small apartment he lived in because his parents sent him away to work in a family business. They were tired of him laying on their couch the whole day. He had dropped out of college and was left with nothing to do. Yuta still remembered the screams exchanged each night, the fights. He remembered the night it finally broke. He remembered how he stepped on a plane with shaky hands only two days later.

Working in the factory his father owned was hard. Days of hard labour, filling up boxes with their products. He hated it. He yearned for better days, happiness.

"Oh! I'm sorry." Sicheng had exclaimed when bumping into him. He was too busy studying all the dizzying names on the spices, not realising he was stepping backwards until, well- He collided with Yuta's chest.

"No worries." Yuta assured, picking the item up Sicheng dropped onto the floor in shock, handing him it back with a reassuring smile. "What are you making?" he added curiously.

"What?" Sicheng blinked. "Oh! Well- a Chinese recipe for my aunt and uncle, I'm visiting them here."

Yuta smiled, making a noise of understanding before stepping back. "Good luck with that, uh..." He said, letting himself trail off.

"Sicheng! Dong Sicheng." He smiled.

"I'm Yuta." He replied, reaching out his hand to shake the other's. "Nakamoto Yuta."

"Nice to meet you Yuta." Sicheng smiled. "I'll see you around?"

"I have nothing better to do, so I'd love to."  
  


They ended up seeing each other a lot more often. The next day, in the same store. That next day too. It went on like that, for days, weeks, moths,... 

It was beautiful. Sicheng ended up staying a little longer, sleeping on the sofa of his aunt for a while until Yuta asked him to move in. It was small, uncomfortable and became really cold in winters. Besides all that, they made it work together.

Sicheng got a job as a cashier in the same store they first met. Yuta, after breaking contact with his parents, left the factory. He struggled with finding a new job but eventually, he started selling his own artwork. Sicheng had been in awe too many times for him to not think he had any talent. Sicheng would bring his paintings and drawings to his job. He'd proudly show them off to his coworkers with the broadest smile imaginable. He was the one who made a website for him to sell his works. He was the one who kissed him when the first costumer finally made an order.

They were able to move to a new place after a year of living together, sealing it with a shiny ring and a kiss. "It's a diamond!" Yuta had said excitedly, wrapping his arms around Sicheng's waist like he would fall apart otherwise. He didn't mind living in Korea anymore. It made him the happiest man on earth. He wouldn't change a thing about the life he was living. 

The new place had a nice view on the Han river. "I love you." Sicheng whispered, grabbing Yuta's hand tightly as they scanned the view from their kitchen window. It was perfect. Magical, even. It went on like that, like a fairy tale. Kissing under the stars when night falls. Holding hands wherever they went. Mumbling little "I love you's" before falling asleep in each other's arms.  
  


But didn't fairy tales always have their dark moments too?  
  


"I have to work overtime tonight, sorry." Sicheng said. Yuta sighed, twisting the ring he had on his finger while grabbing the phone tighter. 

"Again?" He groaned. They were well into the two year mark of their relationship now. 

"Yeah. Go get food without me, I'll be home by midnight." Sicheng mumbled from the other side. Yuta ended the call. That night Yuta laid in the bed Sicheng and him shared, the younger's side neatly made, not slept in.  
  


"Is there someone else?" Yuta finally dared to ask. The question had been tearing him apart. Eating him up from the inside. Ripping his skin apart. He sat on the couch. It was well past 1 AM by this point and Sicheng just walked through the door of their shared apartment.

"What? Of course not." Sicheng spoke, stepping forward to stand next to the couch Yuta was sitting on. "Why would you think that?"

Flashes of memories immediately invaded Yuta's mind, making him sick. The way Sicheng would turn his head right before Yuta tried to kiss him. The way his hand would pull away from Yuta's. How he slept with his back turned instead of cradled in Yuta's arms like he used to.

"How could I not think that?" Yuta spoke. The way his voice gave out blew his cover. It was proof of how torn up Yuta's mind was. His tone was proof of his doubt taking over.

"Go to sleep Yuta." Sicheng said, turning around to stare at the floor. Silence fell over the room, even though Sicheng was painfully aware of Yuta's breath quickening.

"You can't even talk to me about it?" Yuta tried, his voice breaking. "Who is it? Do I know them?"

"There's no one else." Sicheng mumbled, still turned away from the elder.

"How about you keep lying to yourself then, huh?"

"I-I'm not, Yuta." 

"Turn around then, face me." 

A pause. Sicheng turned around. He was crying and as soon as he made eye contact with Yuta his chest started heaving heavily. "How could you think I'm cheating?" He cried.

Yuta stood up, his heartbeat going rapid. "Then what is it? There's something, I know." He spoke in a whisper. "I've known you for long enough to- are you not happy? Am- Am I not enough for you?" Yuta rambled on, getting stopped by Sicheng's hand on his wrist. He realised that he, too, was crying now. Both of their eyes filled with tears.

"I- I can't hurt you like this, I'm sorry." Sicheng cried. 

"What? What do you mean? We can work on this, I'm sure, like we always have, I-"

"No..." Sicheng whispered. "Not this time."

"No, don't do this to me please." Yuta cried out. "Are you leaving me? Is it something I did? Do I make you unhappy? Please Sicheng, give me a chance to fix this!" Yuta sobbed, holding onto Sicheng's hands. Afraid he'd leave.

"I fell out of love with you." Sicheng cried out, taking his hands from Yuta's grasp.

"No, we can can talk about this in the morning, this is not- no!"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... I can't keep hurting you like this." Sicheng sobbed. He saw how Yuta fell on his knees in front of him, grabbing onto his belt loops to try and pull him closer. "I'm moving back to China." Sicheng whispered. Yuta was hugging his legs, not letting him go.  
  


It was as quick as that. Almost three years of his life gone. His light, his only happiness, had left. He woke up with puffy eyes and a headache the next morning. A pain in his chest almost unbearable when he looked at the empty bed beside him. His eyes scanned the room, falling on the closet. Sicheng's clothes were gone.

Walking on shaky legs into the living room, he saw a note laying on the table they spent so many hours talking around.   
  


_Yuta,_

_I'm sorry._

_I really am, I can't express how sorry I am._

_I've known for a while now, and after spending more time with you I thought it would be the best to just drop the bomb on you. After tonight, I regret not doing it another way. I couldn't do it anymore, pretending to love you. You deserve way better. More than I could ever give you. You taught me true happiness in the time we had together. I know you probably hate me now, you think I'm selfish and never truly loved you. I respect that, but you are the only person I ever truly loved._

_If you're reading this, I'm probably on the plane home. Thank you for everything you gave me._

_I'm sorry Yuta._

_Dong Sicheng_

Time passed by. And even though people like to say time is the best medicine, Yuta was still heart broken months after. The ring he had on his finger still sat there after all this time. Out of all the times he had called Sicheng, he had picked up four times. One time he apologised, the second time to tell him he'll wait for him, the third time was to tell him he'll wait for five years. The last time Sicheng asked him to stop contacting him.

He spent a life stuck in the apartment Sicheng and him used to share. Everything reminded Yuta of his lost love. He remembered the couch Sicheng fell asleep on after every time they watched a movie together. He remembered the toaster Sicheng burned his fingers on, resulting in Yuta having to kiss his knuckles as he bit back a smile. He remembered everything. Deadlines were piling up, costumers complaining in his unread e-mails about the artwork they never got. Empty cans of energy drinks piled up on the counter. Unpaid bills kept getting dropped off at his mailbox.

He felt empty.

A kind of emptiness he hadn't experienced... ever.

The kind of emptiness that leaves you grasping onto whatever you can hold just to not collapse on the floor with tears in your eyes. The kind that ruins everything else you have. Yuta didn't think he had anything else. Sicheng was truly his only light, his only happiness.

Yuta spent too much time thinking about everything he may had done wrong. What he may have done to make Sicheng leave like that, to leave him him alone. He spent too many hours crying, drinking alcohol, falling into bad habits. The colours he used to paint grew dark, cloudy.

After spending hours hugging his pillow, he scrolled through social media only to find Sicheng there, looking at the camera with his damned smile. He was being hugged by another guy, the mans lips kissing his cheek. Yuta felt rage build up, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was a whimper. He knew he couldn't keep this up. But if he could keep Sicheng happy by staying far away from him, everything was okay. He'd do anything to keep Sicheng happy, even if it meant his own inevitable despair.

After 4 years of this pain eating him up from the inside, he realised Sicheng wouldn't come back. His angel was lost forever. Even though he knew he couldn't let go. He blocked Sicheng from his life completely. He wouldn't look at his socials either to see how happy Sicheng was without him by his side.

The day before the fifth year of being apart from Sicheng, Yuta walked outside with a hint of a smile on his features. His eyes had sunken, grew tired. His lips didn't stretch the same way they used to anymore. The wrinkles forming in his forehead looked more prominent. He walked to the Han River in slow steps, unsure, tugging on the ring he had had wrapped around his finger. He looked at the water streaming below him, a sign the world hadn't stopped moving around him like he'd expected it to. He played with the ring, taking it off. He placed his hands on the railing, leaning forward slightly and breathing in the air. He was about to throw away the last thing reminding him of his ex. The ring shined in the sunlight, but he couldn't bring himself to throw it away. He'd carried it around for years by now, it was a part of him. A part of the past. Something he looked at with sadness so great it made his knees buckle. He couldn't let the past go, but maybe doing so would make him feel better.

Yuta felt tears prickle in his eyes. He felt a presence behind him. And just as he was about to close a chapter of his life forever, he felt a soft hand cover his. The same ring he had shined in the bright sunlight. He let a breath fall from his lips. Yuta looked at the figure standing next to him. Sicheng sent him the same shy smile he gave him years ago in the grocery shop, the one that made Yuta fall for him. 

"I'm sorry." Sicheng whispered. Yuta noticed he had tears in his eyes. "I was too scared to return sooner."

Yuta smiled, a broken smile trying to fix itself as he looked at his love.

"My relationship ended and I realised I had never been happy without you in the first place." Sicheng whispered, stepping closer to Yuta. "Will you give me another chance?"

Yuta didn't say anything. He felt tears falling down his cheeks, and it felt like all the pain he'd been in left together with them. Yuta leaned in to place his lips on Sicheng's. He felt him smiling against him. Everything was well again.

He'd found his lost love again at last.


End file.
